In honor of my bloggie friend, Gazelles on Crack, I present you with the following Drunken Shoe Porn.
Tonight I went out for drinks for my friend Mandy’s birthday. I only had 1.75 beers while at the restaurant, so I was well-equipped to drive home (well after I finished my .75 of the last beer). Naturally, I decided to have a glass of the already opened wine when I got home.
Well…I don’t want it to go bad, ya know?
Mmmmm hmmmmm. Right.
After I partook in my glass of half-rancid wine (which I just spelled “whine”), I made good on my promise and began the drunken shoe porn photo shoot.
This is me, almost drunk, with a really bad hairdo. Seriously, non-cyber friends. Could you have told me that my hair looked like s&it tonight? I mean, I knew it wasn’t a good hair day, but I had no idea it was this bad.
This is me, almost drunk, holding the red shoe, which was the motivating force which caused this whole silly photo shoot. I just took notice that in this picture, it clearly appears as though I am a pre-op tranny. This upsets me, but rest assured…it’s just my ill-fitting jeans.
Here is my extremely large man-calf (the source of all of my running strife), which is only slightly de-manified by the beautiful girly shoe on my hoof.
Aren’t they lovely?
And, since I don’t ever know when to leave well-enough alone, here are a few of my other favorites. This is the early spring edition…no sandals included, because those are still in storage. Maybe there’ll be a spring edition of Drunken Shoe Porn. Oh, the suspense.
Super pointy-toed BCBG Girls, which are surprisingly comfortable, considering the Halloween-ish toe and all.
Nine West patent peep toes. I love these, but they are a bit on the uncomfortable side. Which doesn’t necessarily stop me from wearing them. Don’t tell my physical therapist. Please.
And, because no woman’s closet would be complete without a pair of purple suede peep toes…
Did I mention that prior to my drunken night with da ladies, I stopped at DSW Shoe Warehouse? The heavens parted when I walked into DSW this evening. It was like a breath of fresh spring air. I walked through aisles and aisles of sandals and flats and dress shoes. And, after nearly an hour of wandering the aisles, I came out victorious.
With a new pair of runners.
Typical.
There were like 5,872,928 pair of shoes in the store, and 5,872,900 of them were not runners. But, I walked out with a pair of runners.
And aren’t they adorable?!
