I must caution you that today’s weekly dose of Thoughtful Thursday will not at all resemble last week’s installment, which was filled with dreams of dogs-turned-vermin, story time in the shower, and general ponderous mention of beef jerky.
Nope, nothing like last week. Much less random. Way more pointed, concise, and purposeful.
Like this…
1) Why must Steve Jobs and his lackeys make my life such complete hell by not allowing me MMS messaging on my newfangled iPhone?! I am not kidding you when I say that this one fact in my life, at this very moment (and for the past week that I have had this dayum iPhone), is one of the most irritating things I’m experiencing. I know, I know. It’s petty, you say.
Are picture messages REALLY that important? I answer that question with a resounding “HELL YES, THEY ARE!” Without a way to easily, quickly, and conveniently send picture messages to my friends and family, I feel a personal void in my life. Something is missing. It’s too much WORK to send a picture message now. I feel like my brain is going to explode every time I even consider the process. It’s just TOO MUCH WORK.
Someone, help me.
Or…
2) I really need to purchase a book about grammar. Now that I am not the only one reading the things that I write, I feel like I need to know the difference between “its” and “it’s”, and that I need to know whether my apostrophe needs to go before or after the “s” in any given word. And yes, I think about this every single time I write a blog post. It keeps me up at night.
And…
3) At least once a day for the past two weeks, I have considered the fact that when shown (showed? shown? See…i need a book) this picture:
My Gazelle’s response was “who’s that?”
I replied “errrr…uhhh…that’s me?”
See, this was taken pre-Gazelle. I know that I’m all dressed up silly for Halloween and all, and I am definitely wearing makeup and a goofy wig. But do I look so completely different that a man who sees me every single day for several hours could look at this picture and just completely not recognize me?
Am I like 50 pounds heavier now, unrecognizable to anyone who hasn’t seen me since the unfortunate, massive weight gain? Are my legs the size of tree trunks now, so he had no idea that those sexy things were hidden beneath the fatness which are my legs now?
Do I need to go on a crash diet so that I can again look like some semblance of that Raggedy-Ann-costume-wearing girl I once was??
This is the agony that I have put myself through for 2 weeks. Can you imagine the torture that I’m going through over this? Irrational, senseless agony. The biggest and most alarming problem is that I don’t look much different now–other than the wig and makeup. See, as I mentioned yesterday, my Kung Fu is just not that strong sometimes, people. I’m still a work in progress.
Also…
4) Did you know that this is the picture that caused My Gazelle to fall madly, deeply, insanely head over heels in love with me?
Are you laughing too? Because I am. What was I thinking? What was HE thinking?
Yep, there’s more…
5) I’m trying to plan my next vacation. I think it’ll be around May/June, depending on scheduling and work and blah, blah, blah. I know that I’d pretty much rather be here 
than anywhere else in the universe, but my budget is limited. Does anyone have suggestions for a cool vacation, that is not necessarily tropical, relatively budget-conscious, within a reasonable travel-time from Maryland (car, boat, plane, whatever…), and can keep two active, able-bodied whippersnappers entertained for 3-5 fun-filled days? Do tell.
Almost there…stay with me…
6) I am excited about running again. I had a bit of a clash of the calves this week after my 5ish mile run last Sunday. Monday was uncomfortable, but Tuesday brought with it a pair of the tightest calves this side of the Mason Dixon line. I attempted to run on Tuesday, but I only made it a mile in about 12 minutes before I ditched the treadmill in favor of riding hills on the stationary bike for 13 more minutes. With that, I called it a day. Disappointed. Shamed. Mad at my calves. Not willing to be a quitter, I gave the treadmill another attempt yesterday. Despite the fact that my calves were still tight, I stuck with it. Took it very slow for the first 10 minutes, then picked up the pace for the next 5 minutes, and ran the last 5 minutes at about a 9:30 pace, which is fast for me. Hey…I jog, remember? 9:30 is a pretty dayum fast jog.
Tonight, My Gazelle has his bootie-kicking self-defense class, and while he’s getting his arse kicked by Willie “The Bam” Johnson, I will be at the gym, running, happily.
Speaking of “The Bam”, this guy is no joke, people. Here he is in action (he’s the little short guy on the left).
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqwl9vNi95E&hl=en&fs=1]
My sweet Gazelle goes to this guy every single week (sometimes twice or 3 times per week) and pays The Bam and The Bam’s son (Lil Bam?) to kick his Gazelle arse. Why, you ask? Because My Gazelle is the po-po, and apparently he has to keep his “skills sharp”…just ask him, I swear that those are the exact words that he’ll use. And I love him almost as much as I love cupcakes. Almost. Cupcakes are winning though.
You made it! I’m so proud of you…
7) Does the fact that I’m canceling my other CPA exam on 2/28 ensure that I will be deemed as a “complete and total loser” for years to come? I’m hoping not. Because I am canceling the exam as an opportunity to gain back my sanity and start anew. I will begin again with a better idea of what I need out of this whole CPA exam process, and will be in a better spot. And have more time to coupon. And write Part II of the coupon tutorial. And run. And come to the realization that I would rather be doing so many other things than studying for the CPA exam. It’ll happen…on my time…when I’m ready. I don’t like pressure, so I’ve removed all traces of it from my life. By way of throwing $1,000 out the window. That’ll teach me to pressure myself.
And with that, I can now promise you (without fear of failure or pressure) that I will indeed have Part II of the JL Coupon Tutorial up for your reading (and viewing) pleasure this weekend, without further ado. I will even have time to do my laundry this weekend, and that is very exciting.
See, this week’s Thoughtful Thursday was completely way less random than last week! Told you.
Pffftttttt. Right. If it’s not random, then I didn’t write it.
